Hello, my name is Kit and my husband and I have 3 kids.  I love reading about "large families," i'm not sure why.  I don't at this time feel called to have one, but I do feel I should "take it one baby at a time" and not do anything final in saying I'll never have more than 3 kids. 

But I remarked to my husband today that I've realized that even if we don't ever have more kids, I don't want the reason for that to be that we "can't have any more kids because we can barely handle the ones we've got!"  Let me explain...

Kim, I believe your oldests are girls?  My oldest is our only boy.  He is almost 7 and in first grade.  I don't know if it's a "boy thing" or a personality issue, but it has always been like pulling teeth to get him to be self sufficient, at any stage.  He would've let us spoon feed him and dress him far beyond toddlerhood if we'd let him.  He was the hardest and latest to potty train.  Currently we've finally learned to buckle our own seatbelt and brush our own teeth, but tying shoes is way over his head, he struggles with learning to read (maybe I should say he struggles with wanting to practice learning to read, he CAN read if he tries), he forgets to help his sisters, even getting out the door is hard, he just stands there until I tell him to open it and exactly what to do, etc. etc.  He tries to be responsible, and tries to remember my "rules" and such, but he seems to me kinda immature for his age? 

I have 2 young daughters, the youngest of which should count as a dozen kids by herself, lol, so I could really use my oldest to be more of a helper instead of an avoider.  What am I doing wrong?  What ages did you start "chores" and what were they?  How did you get your kids to do them?  What sort of independence levels can I expect of a 6.5 year old boy?  His 4 year old sister attempts to follow his lazy lead and what with the "difficult" toddler, I feel like I'm herding THREE babies sometimes instead of a 2, 4 and 6 year old. 

My other issue with being any bigger than a family of 5 is my youngest daughter.  She will be 2 in a few weeks.  Since birth she has been a terror and complete wet-blanket for everybody.  Our older two kids are SO easygoing and fun (and get along together great too), this youngest has just about killed us.  I could have a BUNCH of kids if they were like my older 2 personality-wise, but my third has really worn us out and we don't feel like we can keep up with teaching the older two (not to mention the youngest) as we should be.  It seems she's knocked us totally off track and we don't know how to get back on.  Any spare moment we have we just want quiet and rest instead of doing any teaching, discipline, or fun.  Anyone else experience a similar situation?  How did you survive a "difficult" kid and still enjoy family life without her making every single thing harder than it ever was before?

Anybody have any advice or tips?  These things, along with that we just bought an 1100 sq ft house on a ministry budget and don't have big enough rooms for any more kids, make me scared to have another child.  But I keep reading your all's blogs anyway ;)