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Need some advice from mamas with an autistic child/children...

Started by Debi, author of Who Says 8 is Enough? (main family blog) 9/10/2009 12:24:37 AM

Hi ladies! (and men),

I am in some serious need of advice. I am struggling a lot with my son Will. He is my 2 1/2 yr old twin son and was diagnosed with severe autism a few months ago (a diagnosis I wasn't certain is altogether correct).

A little background... Will and his twin sister were born at 35 weeks and very shortly after delivery it was discovered that there had been a major problem with their placentas for apx 5 weeks or more... in short, it was as if there had been twin to twin transfusion, even though they are clearly fraternal twins. As a result, Emma suffered a stroke in utero and Will suffered a brain bleed and lack of oxygen which later led to a cerebral palsy diagnosis.

Long story short, Will not only has autism, but has some major physical and mental disabilities.

So, my question... I homeschool all of my children (I have 7 other children besides my twins). I am struggling with whether or not I should send Will to the handicapped preschool when he turns 3 in October. He's such a baby and although I am certain that the teachers there will have more expertise than myself (I did work with autistic children for a few years, but as an aide), I am also not sure....

#1 How to balance that with our homeschooling world.

#2 How do I split up my twins, who already have such an "odd" relationship as it is, as Emma is much more like Will's big sister, rather than his twin :(

#3How do I convince my heart that someone else can do better than I can?

I know it sounds silly, but in my mind I know what i should be doing, but in my heart... it's something altogether different. I am heartbroken....

Is there anyone who could share your experience? Please tell me how you made it through all of this...

Replies

Viewing 1 - 3 of 3

Reply by Bonnie

author of Autism Family Adventures 9/11/2009 8:34:46 PM

My two teens are on the spectrum, 15 months apart.  They both did the same preschool special ed, one in AM other in PM.

My 13 yr old is nonverbal and severely autistic, in special ed.  The 14 yr old is HFA and this is his third yr homeschooling with California Virtual Academy.  Only doing it for middle school yrs as safe option due to being in general ed.

I looked on your blog to see if you had twitter info there, but guess you are too busy homeschooling your kids to be on that site - it is addictive.  Anyway there is a Mom to 21 yr old triplets, one with autism and she may have some insights for you.

Her name is Robin Morris, she is on twitter and is an examiner

http://www.examiner.com/x-3565-Hartford-Parenting-Examiner

I know of some Moms on twitter that have twins where one is an Aspie and the other is not and others that both sons are on the spectrum.

If it were me I would send him to school and why not try his twin going to the same preschool, maybe a different class.

Bonnie

 

 

Reply by Laura

9/27/2009 7:23:52 PM

I am very new to this forum but I ready your discussion.  I don't have twins that are autistic but I have do have a 14 year old that is autistic and severely mentally retarded.  I just wanted to share that we live in a VERY small town and did not have any of the needs that my son needed so when he was going into 4th grade we opted to send him to a school for children with special needs that is 4 hours away from us.  He actually lives in a home setting and really loves the school.  It was the hardest decision that my husband and I had ever had to make but it was the best decision we could have made for our son.  He is doing great there and is learning more than he would have ever learned here.  It was very hard but we finally decided that we had to do what we could do to make him the very best person that he could be and unfortunately it was just not here.  We did not have access to PT, OT and a lot of other things that he needed.  It is very hard to be away from him but we see him very often and it is so rewarding every time we go to meetings and it's all positive.  Before we would come out of the meeting so frustrated because he wasn't getting anywhere and the teachers in our school did not seem to know what to do with him.  They were actually special ed teachers and they kept asking us what to do.  We were telling them they were the ones with the degrees.  In our case, they just had never dealt with anybody as severe as our son is. 

So again I know the situation is very different - but just think what will be best for your child.  And you know, if you decide it isn't the best, you can change.

Just wanted to offer my support for you.

Laura

Reply by michelle

author of WELCOME TO MY WORLD... 10/27/2009 2:10:21 AM
When Isaiah was in the special needs preschool he made such an improvement, it was one of the best things for him. I'm certain he would not have been able to be mainstreamed if not for the preschool and how well he advanced there. I would go for it, if it's not working for your family you can always stop.

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