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Starting dialogue with the school?

Started by Deb, author of Mom Of 3 Girls

8/20/2009 2:42 PM

We met with our oldest daughter's school last year because she was struggling in several areas - socially, organizationally and attention-wise. Since then we've gone through a whole evaluative process and she's been 'officially' diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD and Anxiety (and likely sensory processing issues as well). I want to get her the help that she needs this year in school - especially since I know that there's a lot more independent work in 3rd grade and that's one area where she struggles a lot with staying focused (and was one big concern of her 2nd grade teacher last year). But I'm having trouble figuring out where to start the whole 'process'. We found out yesterday who her teacher will be, but it's not a teacher that I know already. I'm just wondering, should I wait and talk to the teacher directly, or call the school ahead of time and talk to the secretary or principal before school starts? I'd love any thoughts or advice anyone has - thanks! :)

Replies to this Discussion:

View Profile	Blog pic: (premium) Reply by 5MinutesForMom author of 5 Minutes for Mom - Bringing Moms Together Twin Sisters Help Promote your blog 8/20/2009 2:58 PM Deb, this is such a great question... I don't have any answers myself, but I know a ton of moms from our 5 Minutes for Special Needs site will have answers. I'll tweet this out and let's get some great discussion going. ~Susan
View Profile	Reply by KnitPurlGurl author of Mommatudes 8/20/2009 3:08 PM Deb, My son was diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome with assoc. anxiety disorder and depression as well as dyslexia and dysgraphia around the same age. You need to set up an IEP meeting with your school to create a Individual Education Plan for your child. She may benefit from a 1:1 aide, Occupational therapy, Speech & Language (a lot of Aspies have a hard time with sarcasm and different modes of speech - not that they speak funny), and social skills training - as well as weekly visits to the school psychologist to help her with transitions (which is difficult for Aspies). Also, check with the local advocacy groups in your town. These goods should NOT be affiliated with the school! They should be completely impartial and put your child first when negotiating IEPs. You should an advocate there from day 1. Trust me on this - it was 3 years before we brought the advocate in as we were trying to 'work' with the school and it ended up being disasterous. Get an advocate involved from the get-go and the school will not try to downplay available services. I've been through it all and seen so many things with so many parents. Feel free to Tweet me. @knitpurlgurl
View Profile	Reply by Tamara author of Tamara’s Tips Life, Parenting and Working from Home 8/20/2009 3:11 PM I think your best bet would be to call the school and talk to the teacher, and may be the principal. Explain the situation your worries and ask them how they can help. I would also demand a IEP which can offer services and extra help. They may change teachers to someone who is better to handle the situations that may arise. I do think it is important to get this out there before the first day of school and get the ball rolling now. It may take a few days after school starts to get the final answers and things from them however it is better to for them and your daughter with this step taken especially if there are possible behavior issues with the new schedule, environment and what not. Yes it is a little daunting to start a school year like this however it would be best in the long run. Good Luck Tamara
View Profile	Reply by Pickel author of Index of / 8/20/2009 3:22 PM Agree..You need an IEP meeting with all of your documentation from your doctors, etc. This will get her the services she needs.
View Profile	Reply by Colleen author of THRIFTY GIRL 8/20/2009 3:41 PM I agree with the previous women that you need to schedule a meeting with the special education department. You need an IEP and are allow this as part of the free public education. The initial process can be daunting (bring your documentation), but what they'll do is assess your girl's needs and make sure she's receiving appropriate accommodations. My advice is once that happens, make sure they are actually implementing them and doing the things they said they would! I'd actually talk with your girl about what might be helpful in her class so that you can go w/ some ideas of what you might need. Good luck!
View Profile	Reply by Melissa author of Tiny Greek Goddess 8/20/2009 6:50 PM This is my first time in this forum and my first time commenting. Hi, everyone! I was a public school teacher for many years before I became a sahm. I second what everyone has said. Please talk to her teacher. It is ridiculously crazy at the beginning of the year, so you may want to wait a few days before meeting with her, but I would definitely mention that you would like to meet with her when you have the back to school night or open house before school starts. Because you have documentation from professionals, it should be a much quicker process to get services for her than if you were starting the evaluation process. But, please, don't be shy about speaking up! You are your daughter's best advocate!
View Profile	Reply by Melody author of Slurping Life 8/28/2009 11:52 PM Everyone before me has offered excellent advise. IEP is mandatory. I just want to add my encouragement and support. You can do this. There is a great group of moms here to help, too.
View Profile	Reply by Deb author of Mom Of 3 Girls 9/1/2009 1:23 AM Thank you, everyone! We have our back-to-school night on Wednesday, so I think I'll mention to her teacher that I'd like to sit down whenever he has a chance and talk about the issues. And I'll talk to the school secretary about how to start the process to get an IEP in place too. This is all so new to me, but I know I want to do whatever I can to help Abby stay successful in school. :)