Hello Good Ladies. I am not quite certain how you all may feel hearing from a man, though, my story bears a very strong resemblance to all of yours. I empathize with you all, heartily. Let me explain.
I, am a former Marine, and abused as an adolescent, by my father, and my mother. I wont go into specifics with that but it was verbally abusive, sexually abusive, and emotionally damaging. I took all I could take and at age 16 went seeking a recruiter to join the military.
I felt getting away was the answer. It was jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
I served during Vietnam era and things were not good then either. Alot of people were hurt. I struggle terribly even to this day. 38 years later. I wanted to be proud to be a Marine, "the few, the proud, the brave," and many Marines are just that. But many are mystified by the myth "Marines never die, they just go to hell and regroup."
What a bunch of nonsense. I was proud to be a US Service member, and the highlight of my day was to serve and salute the American flag. I absolutely recieved great jubilation in this humbling moment.
But many of us have been damaged emotionally as well as mentally. And the military, especially the Marines, will try to stigmatize members with a terrible injustice of disgrace. We are ridiculed and tried to feel by the military as if we have done the injustice to them. I thought they were grown men with plenty of courage to face trials but this is one issue they like to sweep under the rug.
38 years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and chronic anxiety. I had another diagnosis of schizophrenia with paranoia. Now it is being discussed and reviewed otherwise as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I have in all my life never seen a more horrific emotional shock the Marines put a man or woman through during the 'intitial shock treatment,' witnessed and forced upon you than in boot camp.
They have a tradition, why I do not know, of finding out how tough you are and how much abuse you can take. I, could not take any more.
It flooded over into my relationships with familiy, friends, and now, especially strangers. I strongly feel we should not have to be bludgeoned emotionally or mentally to take up a call to arms in the beautiful name of liberty. This is definitely not the spirit filled call our forefathers were called to during the American Revolution. When the colonists needed each other, it wasnt the same kind of camaraderie you hear of now.
It was a Godly, spirit filled call in the sake of liberty, to free us from tyranny and allowing us the liberty and freedom of governing ourselves. This is wonderful, but I guarantee you there was no physical, mental, emotional or sexual hazing going on back then.
I have a story to tell, so does my ex-wife, who was put through hell because of the abuse and terror trauma I have had to endure since my youth. No excuses, just the truth.
I have discovered, "One Word of Truth Outweighs the Entire World," and all that egotistical, macho krap does not scare me especially since my meds work a little better than they used to. Without them, I would be dead.
My present wife and I are Veterans advocates who have suffered through these traumas of mine together and we like helping other folks going through similiar conditions.
Serving your country has not a thing to do about hating your brother. How else do we make peace? As far as the evil that still exists in the world, it is still there and always has been, always will be. There are threats and yes we must be careful but prayer may just be the answer. An active life of prayer.
Please know you are not alone. Continue taking meds, recieve therapy, and don't give up. It does get better. You all have a friend.
The Peace of God be with you all always.