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Have a New Kid by Friday-Discussion 1

Started by Kristen , author of We Are THAT Family 1/11/2010 8:50:43 AM
I don't think the book Have a New Kid by Friday is miraculous-an overnight miracle. But I do think it is transforming-with day-to-day consistency. I know not everyone has read the book, but I thought each Monday (until we exhaust the subject) we could discuss some of the aspects of the book and principals (so that even if you haven't read it, you can glean from it).
 
The main thing I've learned from the book ISN'T how to change my kids. It's how to change ME. My hubby and I are re-learning parenting. It's hard, but we are seeing some amazing results.
 
So, let's just start this first week with the basics....what are some areas you struggle with in parenting--discipline, talking back, bedtime, etc...
 
Talk to me.

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Reply by Nicole

author of TEAM PIPKIN 1/11/2010 10:14:07 AM
I was wondering about this book. I've seen it many times at our local christian book store. I have three kids ages 17, 15 & 4. The 15yo gives us more issues than the 17yo did. I was thinking of getting this book to help us out. So i'd love to see the feedback from other parents that have read or is reading this book.

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Reply by Melissa

1/11/2010 10:17:13 AM
I have 2 kids boy almost 14 and a girl almost 4.  So I get to do the toddlers and teenagers at the same time.  I read the book and loved the concept.  I guess the only problem is me.  Consistency isn't my strong suit at bedtime when my daughter is screaming.

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Reply by Kristen

author of We Are THAT Family 1/11/2010 10:22:58 AM
Nicole-I definitely think the book is valuable. But it isn't an overnight solution or a quick fix to parenting. The author outlines a simple strategy for changing bad behavior, but it IS NOT EASY. I think Mom and Dad must be on the same page. And consistency is key. But it truly works! 
 
In the next few weeks, I want to share exactly how to handle situations the author shares in the book.

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Reply by Kristen

author of We Are THAT Family 1/11/2010 10:24:03 AM
Melissa,
I hear you. Consistency is important! But even if I mess up, I try to start the principals again. My kids are getting it. I have the 'tween thing and a toddler, but I really feel like it will work with both.

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Reply by Kristen

author of We Are THAT Family 1/11/2010 10:26:08 AM
Hi Angela,
You will really like the book! We have attitude issues here too (who doesn't?). But my favorite part of the book is actual instructions on WHAT TO DO in certain situations. I've literally locked myself in my room and flipped to the back to remember HOW I'm supposed to respond!

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Reply by Melissa

1/11/2010 10:33:23 AM
It absolutley works.  Because of some fertility issues and multiple misscarriages (12)  it took us a long time to have Syd.  Because of the age difference and the issues we have spoiled her way too much.  She is a beautiful sweet child don't get me wrong, but she is very strong willed and tends to think the world revolves around her.  I have know idea where she gets that from since I have been trying to get her to understand the world revolves around me ;-).  Anyway long story short my husband and I have made a huge mess and it won't be cleaned up by Friday but we are definatley on the way.  As for my teenager, he is great, responsible, thoughtful, and loving.  But as he gets older we are dealing with the attitude problem here too.  He is more passive aggressive than my little one so it is more in his tone than his actual words or actions.  I'm sure hormones are playing a part in this but my husband and I don't let this excuse fly.  I have told him that his actions and moods are his decision and whatever decision he makes will dictate the decisions we make.  He has been exercising a lot more control.

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Reply by Nicole

author of TEAM PIPKIN 1/11/2010 10:39:12 AM
For our family, the 17yo breezed right through puberty w/o any issues.
when my 15yo went through puberty is was during the time my grandfather was dying of cancer (quickly). i think all the emotions a kid goes through just totally built up in him & he got lost. he talks backs & thinks he has the right to.
and the 4yo...when mommy & daddy say no and she REALLY wants it and starts to throw a fit the teenagers give it to her. They say, "We just want her to shut up"...and then they complain that she is spoiled...ya think??

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Reply by Melissa

1/11/2010 10:49:56 AM
by the way Dr Leehman has a new book out.  Have a New Husband by Friday.

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Reply by Brandie

author of Rudy Family Rukus 1/11/2010 11:24:16 AM
I think I need to get this book so I can better join this conversation but it sounds great.  I am struggling with some issues like talking back and my middle daughter is having some bedtime issues too.  Does it really  cover all that?

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Reply by Kristen

author of We Are THAT Family 1/11/2010 11:48:57 AM
We'll have a LIVE discussion again at 1:30 PM CST today. I can't wait to start digging into the practical tips/parenting instruction of this book. You don't have to own a copy to participate, but I will tell you I think it's the best $10 I've ever spent!

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