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Let's Talk About Sex...When & What to Say

Started by nicole , author of Modern Style Mama 5/14/2011 12:13:51 PM

We all know there will be a time in which the topic about Sex is going to come up with our children.  Thankfully for some of us, like me, it won't be for a while.  

When is the best time to discuss it?

What will you say?

I have had the discussion with my 3 older sisters about this.  Let's just say we all don't agree.  One feels it's best to let them bring it up, another says it needs to be discussed sooner than later (she has a teenager), and the other says abstinence is what she will make clear and the only thing she will discuss.  

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Reply by nicole

author of Modern Style Mama 5/14/2011 12:14:00 PM

I feel it is so important to discuss the topic at the appropriate age.  The truth of the matter is kids are having sex.

We all know when it happened for us.  I'll admit it happened fairly early for me but I did end up marrying him.  I was very educated and my husband was even more.  His mother, a mother to all boys, left books out for him and his brothers.  She also made it very clear they were just as responsible as the girls.  She felt it was best to wait until they were older but...They NEEDED to be safe and always use protection, regardless of birth control pills. 

My plan is to discuss it with my boys.  I will let them know it's best to wait.  BUT... I will educate them on how to be safe.  My sister says that's giving them permission to have sex.  I dont believe so.

 What do you think?  


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Reply by Belle

author of Life Down The Rabbit Hole. 5/14/2011 1:47:59 PM

I want to be very open with my children and discuss sex with them at an appropriate age or whenever they ask me. My father is a sex therapist so I learned about it at a very young age, I was taught that it's alright to be curious and when I was sure that I was ready (and in love) that it was okay to have sex using proper protection. I really like this video and pray that someday I will have similar conversations with my children: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Dr-Laura-Berman-Helps-a-Mom-Explain-Sex-to-Her-Daughter-Video


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Reply by ~ Mona

author of Mona's Milestones 5/14/2011 2:14:16 PM

"The talk" has been ongoing for me.   As belle said, it's been age appropriate, many times omitting stuff until they're ready.

Now that they are 16 & 19 we're getting to the nitty gritty.


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Reply by Kristi

author of live and love...out loud 6/4/2011 11:16:46 AM

I'm a mother of 4 children, ages 16, soon-to-be 14, 8 and 2. The approach we've taken with our kids is talking with them before outside influences become an issue. We've found that some kids are ready before others and some just aren't prepared yet for the talk. In any case, we're very open; talking about the science behind sex in addition to the physical and emotional effects of engaging in sex at a young age. We're committed to creating a comfortable environment for them to talk to us about sex.

But at the end of the day, our core message is that sex is for a married couple's enjoyment and creation of children and not to be given away freely. However, we've stressed that IF (big fat if) they were to engage in sex prior to marriage, we will still love and support them no matter what. 

Great discussion. Stopping by from the Blog Frog Community Hop. Have a great weekend. :)


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Reply by Carol Lawrence

author of Intentional Conscious Parenting 6/4/2011 11:31:01 AM

I think you just know when the time is right. Keep the lines of communication open, bite your tongue if you feel the need to judge or preach to your children. Give them the facts and the truth. If you keep an open mind and open line of communication your children will come to you about everything and not feel like they have to hide it or go elsewhere for knowledge. 

We were open and honest and to the point. It's important to teach our children the beauty of our bodies and the beauty and benefits of sex. Of course age appropriateness is the key.


Kristi's profile picture
Kristi said ...
I'm a mother of 4 children, ages 16, soon-to-be 14, 8 and 2. The approach we've taken with our kids is talking with them before outside influences become an issue. We've found that some kids are ready before others and some just aren't prepared yet for the talk. In any case, we're very open; talking about the science behind sex in addition to the physical and emotional effects of engaging in sex at a young age. We're committed to creating a comfortable environment for them to talk to us about sex.

 "We're committed to creating a comfortable environment for them to talk to us about sex." LOVE THIS!


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Reply by nicole

author of Modern Style Mama 6/5/2011 8:29:06 AM

 I too feel it is so important to be open about sex.  My four boys are still pretty young so thankfully I still have quite a few years before we have to discuss it.  

But I did just have my fourth child and my oldest has been very curious about how babies are made and how you deliver them.  Some people may think I'm crazy but I have been as open as I can be with a 6 year old.  

Thank you all so much. This has been a great discussion.  


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Reply by Ruth

author of My Devotional Thoughts 8/20/2011 4:18:47 PM

I don't have any real plans, but I have a book on my list to read about this topic.  My daughter is 8, and I will be having the talk with her when she's ready.  I'm not  concerned about it in the least, I have to say.  I am going to be honest, and tell her what she needs to know.


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