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You're Home And You Should Clean

Started by Destinee 7/26/2010 9:21:53 AM

My husband hates that I don't clean. Our house gets pretty cluttered before I decide to do anything about it. His argument is that I'm the one home all day and that keeping our house looking nice is my "job".

I don't like that just because we decided I would be the one home with the kids, suddenly I have to take care of every household duty.

Are you a stay at home mom? What are your duties? Is my husband right?

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Reply by Your ArtisticSistah

7/26/2010 9:30:27 AM

In my house things are split 50/50. I'm not doin' anymore cleanin' that he's doin. Our house is pretty small though so it's not that hard to keep it right.


Reply by Gina

author of Fantasy casting 7/26/2010 9:33:54 AM

I am a SAHM and I do take care of the whole house. All of it. All the time. He works and is going to law school. I just think that I should be working full time, too, and that means putting in my time around the house.

That being said, the house isn't perfect. I have three little kids, none of them in school yet. Somebody is awake around here from 5 AM till 10 PM, so there's not a lot of "free" time.

There's no "right" when it comes to division of duties, it should be whatever works for you guys. But, if you are arguing about it, then what you are doing isn't working for you.

Talk about it. Decide what is and isn't your responsibility- at least most of the time. That doesn't mean you can't help each other out (and that goes both ways... too many women I see want help around the house but don't do anything to lighten his load!)


Reply by gurlninja

7/26/2010 9:37:43 AM

When I get married there is no WAY I'm going to be stuck with all those duties. lol. For all I care HE can be the one to stay home with the kids and I'll work. Maybe that's what you should suggest to your husband!


Reply by SuperMomto3Boys

author of The Secret Life of A Single Mom 7/26/2010 9:48:38 AM

OMG! I sooooo understand this! I had this issue and it became more of, Do you know what kind of job it is to take care of the kids alone alllllll day?! I used to say maybe you should stay home for a week with them, after I clean the house and then let's see how well the house stays clean while you are tending to the kids lol. Well, though he never did and I never got anywhere with that argument, I just had to make do with how much I could do in a days time. So, if the house wasn't spotless then oh well! The main things were done, laundry and food! Now, I am in the process of a clean sweep and omg, my house looks like a tornado hit it! but by the time I am done...I will have a new lease on clean!


Reply by UnplannedCooking

author of Unplanned Cooking 7/26/2010 10:19:48 AM

I'm a SAHM and I do keep our home clean during the week when he's not here. But on weekends when he is around we split the duties. I don't like doing housework, but sort of feel it goes with the territory. And I have the children clean with me because think part of my job is teaching them to pick up after themselves. They're young - 5, 3 and 1 - but they all can do age appropriate jobs.


Reply by Mary

author of Giving Up On Perfect 7/26/2010 10:23:25 AM

Uh-oh. I'm quitting my job this fall to stay home, and this is one (of MANY) thing I'm worried about. I hate cleaning, but I feel like (and my husband probably agrees) that if I'm home more, I should DO more.

Does anyone have a good SYSTEM for getting it done - quickly? :)


Reply by Gina

author of Fantasy casting 7/26/2010 10:31:26 AM


I (honestly) do the things that take TIME during the day: You know, putting dishes, laundry, etc. going. And I wipe surfaces all day long: counters, toilets, dusting, etc. in between kid-play-stuff.

As for the toys and the general disarray? I let the kids do what they are going to do- they aren't allowed to trash the place, but you can definitely tell they have been here, and then THEY pick up before bed. After they go to bed, but before I do, I actually clean up their areas: I vacuum, organize toys, etc. It takes me 30 minutes and the house is a clean slate for the next day.


Reply by The Damsel (Margot)

author of Old School 7/26/2010 10:34:15 AM

The Fly Lady system works for a lot of people, especially when you need to know where to start.


Reply by One Cluttered Brain

author of One Cluttered Brain 7/26/2010 10:48:34 AM

Yes, I do clean my house. I've made a deal with myself. If I clean I can comment and tweet. If I do't, SHAME on me and I walk away form the computer for a little while...


Flylady is a good start though.


Reply by Lisa

author of All Things Wonderful 7/26/2010 10:49:02 AM

I am right there with you!

I am a bit OCD when it comes to cleaning. We own a small business and our office in our home, so I have double duties. I bounce daily from the office and our business work, to the household chores. My husband gives me he!! once in a while, too.

I think they just don't get it! If they have a problem with household chores, they need to pitch-in and quit the complaining. Being a mom is a full time job in and of itself...not to mention keeping the house clean, doing the laundry, and for me running a business.

Sometimes, I think I just need to pack myself up and go away for about a week and let my Darling Husband take care of the kids, run the business and the house, then he MAY get a different perspective on my life!

Good Luck!

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