BlogFrog

This is a tough one for me. I certainly didn't wait. But as a mother, I think I may have a double standard. I would love it if my kids waited until they are married, and I have told them I would like them to, and God wants them to. But I am realistic too. I also feel there is much to be said for sexual compatibility, and it could present a major challenge in a marriage if it isn't there.

As for dating as a Christian who wants to wait- while I have no personal experience with this (I became a Christian after marriage) I would definitely say you need to decide for yourself how far is too far. I applaud you for wanting to wait!

K, I agree that complete abstinence is the best way and is God's way!  I too am saving every part of myself for the right one! :)

K and Lizzie: Good for you! It's nice to see girls who stick by their convictions. And it is SO hard, huh?
I became a Christian after I had already blown it in that department, but am thankful to God that He changes lives. My husband did wait for marriage. He grew up in a Christian home.
Here's the thing. We like to blur the line as to how far is too far. Really it's just best to not get yourself into any compromising situations. Not only does it open the door for temptations (and each future occurrence it becomes easier to cross another line) but we're exhorted in 1 Thessalonians 5:22 — “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”
Especially when I first became a Christian, I used to like to believe "Well, as long as I know I'm not doing something wrong, who cares what others think." But I was convicted that that is not the case. So if Jeff and I were hanging all over each other in public, what were people going to think was going on behind closed doors? We decided it was just best to stay out from behind those closed doors and not to do things publicly that would cause people to assume things about us.

The thing about compromising your purity is (like I learned as a teenager) until those vows are said at the altar, you don't know that this is the person you will spend your life with so you really have to be careful about giving pieces of yourself away.

Have you read Josh McDowell's "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." I really liked it.

God bless you girls. Keep up the good fight. You are examples to all of the young girls around you, weather you know they are watching or not.

This is such a great topic. Yes, I believe in abstinence before marriage. I also believe that making out, such a heavy petting, even french kissing can arouse strong feelings that can make it very difficult to maintain control, even for a devout Christian couple. Therefore, I believe that kissing should be kept to a minimum while dating. That is what my second husband and I tried to do while we were dating and we have no regrets!

Lisa, I have read the book "I kissed Dating Goodbye" I suggest it to anyone its a great book :) Thanks for all of the encouragement.

I know Jen said she thought kissing should be kept to a minimum. What does everyone else believe about kissing?

Personally, I agree that PDA and kissing should be kept to a minimum and should be discussed by the couple. I know it is important to make guidelines and not cross them when dating someone, which is definitely what Im going to do when I find "the one." (waiting patiently for God's timing ;) )

I believe in abstinence before marriage. Didn't make it myself but I hope my children will.

My brother and his wife shared their first kiss on their wedding day and it was such a wonderful moment.

Think of the strong emotions that kissing elicits. Now, imagine if you waited on that until your wedding day. How cool would that be? I think it would do a lot to extend the passion of the marriage:-)

K - I want you to know that I waited until marriage for sex but I kissed boys and even let some boys take advantage of me and touch me in ways and areas that were inappropriate. I was very fortunate in eventually finding me a dashing young man who valued purity. (our first kiss was on our 1 yr anniversary - but it should have been our wedding night!) The thing I treasure most in my marriage now is the fact that I am the only girl my husband has ever kissed. I can't tell you how special that is to me. I wish I could have given him that same gift. Anyways what I am trying to say is that the boy who touched me inappropriately I 'knew' I was going to marry and didn't so.... I encourage you to stay pure, and if you wouldn't feel comfortable doing it with your Dad in the room don't do it. That being said. If a mistake has already been made there is ALWAYS forgiveness and redemption. If you avoid it though you won't have to pay the consequences! - I wish I could wind back the clock and give myself that advice!

i can't speak for me, because i ruined it and didn't wait.

but i am already thinking of how i can encouraged my daughters to wait. it is my desire for them. but i fear it's unrealistic. at the least i hope they will be adults.

my girls are still too young to really talk about it. we have had the birds and bees talk. but i don't think they realize that people do it "just because". so i really need to figure out a good plan in the coming years.

I personally think the idea of abstinence is archaic and a little bit ridiculous. How many couples do you know that were BOTH virgins at marriage?

I just think telling kids not to do it is letting them know it's not alright but not wrong and there's clearly SOMETHING to be said about it. I think teaching safe sex is more important.