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Let's Be Honest

Started by Laurie , author of Tip Junkie — Find and Share Tips and Creative Ideas 6/18/2010 1:27:39 PM

Would you want a friend to be honest with you even if it meant hurting your feelings?

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Yes!!!!! Always tell me the truth no matter how bad it is going to hurt.  I was cheated on AND NO ONE TOLD ME!  Everyone knew.  Everyone!!!! I felt so betrayed.


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Reply by Carri Wright

author of Simply Done Wright 5/4/2012 5:48:15 PM

I think there's being honest to help someone and being honest to hurt someone.. I also like Red was cheated on and of course was the last to know... I would have wanted to know.. it would have saved me time anyway... couldn't stop the hurt. But if someone says I need to tell you this to be honest with you, you're overweight and I worry about you... that's not helpful, that's hurtful... I hurt my back 5 years ago and through steriods. surgery, lack of movement on my part due to chronic pain I went in 5 years from a size 5 to a size 22... I've never told anyone that before.. ( because I can hide behind the computer and show a picture of me that's 5 years old... ) but since this topic is honesty... I had someone say that to me.. I was crushed... I have mirror's ... I know what I look like.. for 49 years I was a skinny mini... and wham!  It's something I have to deal with and am fully aware of.. I don't need someone to be "honest" with me about it, whatever their reason.. so I think you have to be sure of the motives behind the honesty...Okay, I've spilled my guts and made myself cry...HAHAHA! I musta needed that.

Carri


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Reply by katlupe

author of Homesteading On The Internet 5/4/2012 5:52:42 PM

I agree! I was cheated on too and the whole city knew but no one had the nerve to tell me as they were afraid of my husband. I felt like the laughing stock of the southern tier!

RedheadRiter's profile picture
RedheadRiter said ...
Yes!!!!! Always tell me the truth no matter how bad it is going to hurt.  I was cheated on AND NO ONE TOLD ME!  Everyone knew.  Everyone!!!! I felt so betrayed.


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Reply by Kristi

author of The Maze of Our Lives 5/4/2012 9:25:01 PM

Carrie touched on this briefly. There's honesty that can be helpful and productive. Then there's honesty that is not productive.

Honesty requires discretion and discernment.

I believe in being very honest with people. But, I recently shared more honest feelings than I should have with someone. Looking back on it, I realize that it was not appropriate at the time. I should have kept it to myself. It wasn't the kind of situation that involved hurt feelings or any negative repercussions, but the timing was inappropriate.

But, in situations where someone could be hurt worse by my not telling them something, then honesty is the best policy.


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Reply by katlupe

author of Homesteading On The Internet 5/5/2012 9:29:30 AM

In some situations it really depends on who the person is and how well you know them.

If someone I was close to me, said "Mom, you need to lose some weight. I am afraid you are going to die." If someone I barely knew saw me in the store and said, "Wow, you are way overweight! I can't believe you got so big!" I'd be hurt and angry they said that and buy myself a gallon of Moose Tracks to cry into! 


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Reply by Carri Wright

author of Simply Done Wright 5/5/2012 9:35:01 AM

HAHAHAHA I love the buy Moosetracks part.... that made me laugh so hard... Thanks

Carri


katlupe's profile picture
katlupe said ...
If someone I was close to me, said "Mom, you need to lose some weight. I am afraid you are going to die." If someone I barely knew saw me in the store and said, "Wow, you are way overweight! I can't believe you got so big!" I'd be hurt and angry they said that and buy myself a gallon of Moose Tracks to cry into! 


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Reply by katlupe

author of Homesteading On The Internet 5/5/2012 12:38:11 PM

I had many people say when my husband was cheating on me that they thought I wouldn't want to know. I would have wanted to know. No matter how much it hurts, you want to know or NEED to know. I was unprepared for that.


{{{{BIG hugggssssssss}}}}

A size is just a number. Just work towards good health. That's the most important of all. Sorry you cried, but you're right, you probably needed a good cry. Now you feel better!!!!

Another {{{{BIG hugggggggg}}}}}


Carri Wright's profile picture
Carri Wright said ...
I think there's being honest to help someone and being honest to hurt someone.. I also like Red was cheated on and of course was the last to know... I would have wanted to know.. it would have saved me time anyway... couldn't stop the hurt. But if someone says I need to tell you this to be honest with you, you're overweight and I worry about you... that's not helpful, that's hurtful... I hurt my back 5 years ago and through steriods. surgery, lack of movement on my part due to chronic pain I went in 5 years from a size 5 to a size 22... I've never told anyone that before.. ( because I can hide behind the computer and show a picture of me that's 5 years old... ) but since this topic is honesty... I had someone say that to me.. I was crushed... I have mirror's ... I know what I look like.. for 49 years I was a skinny mini... and wham!  It's something I have to deal with and am fully aware of.. I don't need someone to be "honest" with me about it, whatever their reason.. so I think you have to be sure of the motives behind the honesty...Okay, I've spilled my guts and made myself cry...HAHAHA! I musta needed that.


Ugh. I still can't believe no one told me.


katlupe's profile picture
katlupe said ...
I agree! I was cheated on too and the whole city knew but no one had the nerve to tell me as they were afraid of my husband. I felt like the laughing stock of the southern tier!



Yep.


Kristi's profile picture
Kristi said ...
But, in situations where someone could be hurt worse by my not telling them something, then honesty is the best policy.


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